Un-Yelling

Last night, when I was making my way home from work, I saw something that made me stop and stare for a while.

Stopped at the light, waiting for the light to turn green, was a man in a car, with the window down. Sitting next to him was a small male child, about 6 years old or so. And he was screaming at the child. Yelling loud enough for me to hear the sound of his voice across three lanes of busy traffic...but not quite loud enough to hear the words.

The child's body language said it all. He was slouched down, looking down, head almost to his chest. He occasionally would look sideways at the man, but never raised his head. He looked like he was shrinking. And he probably was inside.

What was I thinking as I stood there and witnessed this short scene of parental anger? I was thinking about all the times I would get that angry at my children. About how scary and stressful parenting can be, and how powerless you can feel. And about how now that I know how my children turned out to be, I wish I could go back and un-yell at my kids. I wish I could take back every word I said in anger or in fear.

But maybe they wouldn't have turned out so good?